AND I SEE
a beetle:
the black scarab of the ancient pharaohs -
rolling a ball of dung across the cement floor.
Egyptians once believed the beetle
strong enough to roll the sun
across the heavens

and i see you there, sweating
on a creaking bed, sweating
beneath a musty mosquito net,
lying on a dirty mattress. there is
music outside. it is still light.
the market traders are still
selling their wares as you lie, still,
waiting for cooler, darker hours

meanwhile, thoughts meander and drip, sweating,
slipping off anything solid, dwelling
nowhere, evaporating.

it's hard to think straight in the heat.
it's hard to sleep.

you turn sideways and laugh.
probably you would be better off
outside, somewhere shaded.
at least the air would move, but

out there you will be cajoled
you stick out like a sore thumb.

no, stay here.
close your eyes for a bit and listen

you hear
high spirited talk
melancholy music
the rattle of decrepid rickshaws
rusty automobiles

everything has been rolled over
ravaged by the incessant sun.

*

at last
sleep is coming
and strange dreams.
sweating, slippery dreams
of laughing buddhas and
dancing shivas and
The Cave.

you hope to dream of rain
rumbling rolling rain,
but that dream must wait.

you
dream about the temple again.
you have lost your sandals and
must now walk barefoot. you look
down and see that you are naked.
you have lost your clothes.

you
run, in the heat, your feet dirty
and burning. you run - hiding your
penis in a cupped hand - from the
brown-skinned locals, who stare at
you angrily. they are deeply offended
by your nudity and intend to do violence.

they
surround you, holding sticks
and machetes. its hot, too hot to
run. where are your clothes? where
are you? what is this stink of
sweat and bad food?

you
do not wake up.

you
do not realise that
this is a dream.

a man orders you to lie down, and
you do. the people lower a heavy
stone slab over your whole body
so that you cannot move

you are still cupping your balls in
your hands and you hear the beetle,
scratching at the parched
earth near your toes.